Thoughts and anxiety

I've been thinking a lot about the last few months. Replaying moments like the ultarsounds and the amnino draw and the MRI and wondering if they really knew someting was wrong with that first ultrasound. I mean, the back of his head was facing my front. They had a good shot, but yet they told us we had to come back because they couldn't see the front of the head and then they said the same thing when we came back. I can't help but feel lied to.

We also started going to our birth preperation classes. That class gives me anxiety. *shudders* I'm getting nervous about going into labor and pain, etc. They say that contraction are like bad cramps. I've had bad cramps, they make me vomit. I don't want to vomit or cry or be uncomfortable. I'm getting an epidural and that is that.

I saw this next part on other blogs. It's kinda like a pregnancy survey. I wish I would have done this from the beginning, but no time like the present (even though there are only 11 weeks left...11WEEKS?!?!? WOAH!!!)

Well here it goes:

How far along are you: 29 weeks 2 days

How big is baby: According to my weekly updates: 16 inches and 3 pounds.

Stretch marks: Just on my lower back and inner thighs.

Sleep: Horrible. I'm up at least 3 times a night to pee. I guess I'll be ready when Chase comes. At least when he comes, I'll be able to nap with him.

How are you feeling physically: Tired. I get out of breath easier too. I also find it very hard to get out of my recliner with my tummy in the way.

How are you feeling emotionally: Scared. Worried. I don't like not knowing the future so not knowing how things will be with Chase gives me anxiety. I like to be prepaired for what will happen and in this case I can't and I hate it.

Best moment of the week: B felt a body part (head or butt, not sure what it could be) and it the body part moved. B though it was the coolest thing ever. B thinking it's the coolest thing ever IS the coolest thing ever :)

Movement: A lot, but they are sporadic.The OB said last week to start counting kicks if I want or to just pay attention to his awake and sleep times which is the option I choose. I've come to know when to expect his movement, so when he does, I feel reassured.

Cravings: Monterray ranch chicken sandwhiches from Wendys....this is really all I want to eat, but I don't.

Labor signs: none

Missing anything: Miller lite. 8/13 was the first Bears preseason game. It was awkard to watch with out a beer in my hand. I'm also missing Jesse Oaks (a local bar with an out doors atmosphere, perfect summer bar).

Looking forward to: Fall because it's my favorite season. Pumpkin flavored anything. Cooler weather. Chase's arravial :) and being off work.

Random thoughts: Nothing other than the first part. I wish I had my energy back, but that's about all. :)

-e